it was a day

fall break.
super tired mama on really slow mode.
kids with lots of energy and little desire to do work.

nice friend to invite us over… or did we invite ourselves over?
got there so late.
remember… mama on slow mode…
+ crying baby when mom is getting ready.

feeding chickens, petting the cat… tru needs to live on a farm. really.
fun to visit with Julie…. a really great gal.
boys wasted their time by trying to play games on the computer. oh boys!
Ainsley loves Hannah. Hannah loves Ainsley and Emerson.

a late lunch. late quiet time/naps.
way too short nap for tru…. and mom.
imaginative play for tots… still warm enough to play outside.

minestrone soup for dinner. love those veggies.
having the hardest time as madre to 5, day 3 of flying solo. i’m a whiner. it’s true.

i need my jimmy.

jimmy calls from airport…
i am trying so hard to be brave… and strong…
and not yell at the kids…
trying to give occasional loves…
and tend to max who apparently really needed a milkshake before dinner…
tru who was pouring cups of water in the sink…
only it got all down and in the cupboards..
eliza was snoozing in the sling…
kept reminding hannah and abe to help and be peacemakers.

then i cry on the phone to jimmy.

kids realize “this is serious.” (you have to sing that like on wonder pets)
why does it take tears from mom for them to try a little harder?

dinner was good. tru ate so much soup. he loved the zucchini.
max didn’t like it… big surprise.
his tummy suddenly started hurting. big surprise.

vegetating and watching UP with popcorn (courtesy Abe)
neighbor stops by to let us know she put all the bikes and toys in the garage.
she put our garbage can in last night too.
she’s a saint to watch over us.

scriptures… motes in eyes and such
bedtime… late… remember… tired mama on slow mode.
i yelled. no bueno.

songs and sleep for little ones.
then … all was quiet.
more raspberries on ice cream.
peace.

pretty much i felt like a lousy mom today.
i wanted what i wanted… like peace and quiet and happy kids and sleep.
some days i’m better at teaching and loving my kids.
that was not so much today.
i was on survival mode instead of THRIVE mode.
these things happen.

my mom and i talked about this concept this week and I liked this quote she shared:

I am learning. a lot.
in my calling as pres.
in my role as madre.
as a mortal person trying to keep up with my spirit.

most days I feel like I’m doing the best in the circumstances.
some days I know I can try harder.
that would be today.

i can’t even manage caps, sentences, and normal punctuation.
do you think i’ll adore this picture some day?
i do.
but oh … at the time… i was tired of wiping up water… but more tired to keep him occupied some other way.
after all… he wasn’t screaming at anyone… and he was happy and busy.
plus, this photo reminds me of what a cute little person he is. sigh…

1 more hour till jimmy comes home.
wahoo.

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