hearing the call from the Spirit

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So – I guess there is some political mumbo-jumbo going on out there about Hilary Rosen commenting that Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life” as a stay-at-home-mom.

I wasn’t offended by Hilary Rosen.  I KNOW it’s the hardest work out there (especially when you have a 2-year-old!).   I wasn’t surprised to hear something like this though; I wouldn’t expect the majority of those in our society to praise women staying home and “sacrificing” their career (this is set aside for another post).  It’s only the most awesome opportunity ever… and they are so missing out.

Thankfully, I don’t look to the world for approval … I hear the call from the Spirit … helping me know what my purpose and role is. I love the YW video “Be Strong: I Know Who I Am” that shares this message applicable to all, at any age:

I have a purpose.
He has a plan.
I have a witness.
I know who I am –
A chosen daughter of noble birth.
The Father’s mission to fill on earth.
I’ll follow His Beloved Son.
And in His Name, I can become.
And as I grow, His light will too.
and that light will strengthen you.

When the world’s temptations –
seem to call you by name.
Be strong, be strong.
When they question everything
you put your faith in every day
Be strong, be strong.
And if you stand for something right and stand alone,
Remember through his chosen servants
God will lead you back home.

Be His, Be One, Be Strong.

I try not to fuss over politics too much as it bugs … but I’m glad I had this conversation with Jimmy about this recent situation as it made me really think about how important I know my role is as mother. Now – if I could just be the calm, sweet soul-of-a-mother that I know is in there somewhere.

I love this reminder as it relates to motherhood: “The small and simple things you choose to do today will be magnified into great and glorious blessings tomorrow.” Ann Dibb

PRESS FORWARD SAINTS … with steadfast FAITH in Christ!

quiet barnlings?

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Well Miss Lucy Steele… you are welcome any time at the Smith home. As Jimmy left for work … trying to rush & catch his bus, I exclaimed, “Don’t leave me here with the screaming children!!” And then he left. He knew I wasn’t serious (though Tru had just pinched Max and was screaming at him). I love being a mother … but it is much harder to think straight & find love in your heart when you’re so tired. ‘Liza must be about to get her top teeth because she has not been sleeping much… which means both Jimmy & I are tired too. So yes – we’re glad that kids have spirit & life. But … please send energy my way.

Bright Eyes

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I love my zu-zu, even when she is snoggy. She is a dear babe.

p.s. Eliza and I have matching bald spots – right there in front by our parts. My hair fell out after having a baby. It’s short and pokey now as it grows back in. Eliza’s hair started growing in thicker the past 2 weeks so she has pokeys. Matchy-Matchy!

reality is…

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that the maid did not show up for work today.
wait? what maid?
oh right – that’s me.

fortunately the mother showed up for work (well… mostly)
and she loved the wee little fussy Eliza
all the day long.

which means… that reality is…
that when you decide to set a goal and get something accomplished…
something else is sent your way…
like having a wee babe not take her normal naps.

which means… that my home clean-out (40 bags in 40 days)
and home organization projects
did not get far today.

fortunately hannah joyfully (or not!)
cleaned her room since she was home with a sore throat.
I helped her organize all her special papers from the past few years.
we threw a bunch of papers away.

so – a little progress.
just not the amount I was hoping for.

this may take months… not weeks…
or years? please don’t say years!

I just want to be done by the time we’re all playing outside all the day long…
for then the maid really doesn’t show up for duty…
she’s too busy being a mother.

sigh…

a blur

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I keep wondering if in 10 years, I’ll look back at this time of our life and just see it as a blur. It feels like a blur right now. The kids constantly need me especially Liza and Tru. It is constant. There is always something to do for my calling – always. Not that I always do it… but I could be so busy with it, if I let myself. I keep trying to do creative fun stuff so I have a bit of time to recuperate from the craziness of the rest of my life … but I know that creates more busy-ness too in some ways.

I guess that’s why I like to record moments and photos and thoughts… so that once we’re in a different stage of life I’ll be able to see the family record of what our life was like.

I hope I remember this as a happy blur at least.

p.s. thank you Truman for taking the perfect blurry whirlwind picture of Lizzy and I for this post.

Orange Chocolate Chip Cookies yumminess

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for some reason, when I make cookies, i feel like a good mom (*note… i did not say “AM a good mom” … keywords: “feel like”). It has something to do with the entire cookies & milk & yellow balloons thing.

Today I made a double batch of Ang’s Perfect Cookies. I made half plain choc chip for the kiddos. And half with orange gummies & chocolate chip. Yummy. They are quite tasty.

Now… to figure out dinner. Hmmmmm?

The Gift of our Best Effort

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I’m not sure where I was… in la-la land or something… but I listened to the Christmas devotional twice and still missed this fabulous moment. When chatting with my friend Steph today, I was feeling a bit stressed about my calling and life with little ones. She mentioned this… that we don’t have to move mountains with our faith… but to move forward one step at a time. Yes – love that!

Every year we do a gift for Jesus. This is a great message to remind me that I don’t have to change the world in a year’s time… but to steadfastly move forward in Christ, is all that is expected. Good stuff.

Crazy Me

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Dear Friends and Family,

Next time I think it’s a good idea to take my 3 littles to Walmart (yes… walmart!) right before lunch, please gently remind me that it’s indeed NOT the best idea. Even if I think we need to get out of the house, remind me it’s easier to stay home. For it takes an hour to get everyone dressed with shoes and socks and then buckled in the van.

Even if I think my baby will sleep at the store because she is so tired, remind me that she won’t. She’ll cry and need to be held… which makes pushing a cart with tots in it, quite hard.

Remind me that Truman doesn’t like to sit in the cart and when he wants to walk, he will thrash and scream (luckily this was out in the parking lot and he soon calmed down). Remind me how the wind blows in Lehi… and how it’s cold.

Remind me that even though Max is really good, 3-year-olds are really good at doddling. They love to look at EVERYthing.

Please remind me not to wear a coat… because it’s too slippery when holding a wee babe… and it’s boiling hot when fussing with kids and cart.

I’d like to let you know that we survived. I did feel ridiculous for looking like a tired mom who decided to go to the store with 3 kids under 3. The nice checker even helped me get everything loaded. Bless her.

So – next time… remind me that going to the store alone… after the tots are in bed is easier…. much easier.

Thank you…
Me

So – what happened on the 5-minute drive home? Tru zonked out… and Eliza cried to sleep… within 5 minutes. I got the tots down for naps, unloaded the groceries, took off my shoes, got a drink of grape juice and fresca, gave Max the i-touch to occupy him, so I could recuperate from the chaos. I gave a big sigh of relief… sigh…

During my big sigh… I came across this. There is no way to be a perfect mom here on earth…
even as much as I try… but I do good things.
“Good Mum” by Birdie Blue

Here’s the challenge for me (and any one else who might read this):

“Make a list as you go through the day, of things YOU are really good at. Write down things that if viewed through the eyes of a child would be outstanding and impressive accomplishments. I bet by the end of the day you’ll be feeling really good about yourself.” Stacy Julian

Here’s a few things I’m good at… to get myself started:
~ Cutting Apples (hannah is always amazed at my cutting skills. ha-ha. I tell her I’ve practiced for many years)
~ Making hot chocolate, peanut butter sandwiches, quesadillas, chocolate chip cookies(now that i found a recipe that works for me)
~ Typing Fast (the kids think i do anyways)
~ Dancing & singing like a spaz in the kitchen to entertain the tots. Mostly Tru tells me to stop though.
~ Finding & Enjoying great quotes to keep me felling inspired.
~ Reading… though I do better at reading quickly than complete comprehension. I get too bored reading slow.
~ Playing the piano… at least I used to be… oh, no… what if I lost that talent?
~ Being Comfortable & Casual. I’m just not fancy or trendy. Period. I could never wear high heels with jeans. It’s so not me.
~ Loving. I have a tender heart that cares about others.
~ Rocking & snuggling babies.
~ Showering. It’s true!
~ Driving a car… I’m not sayin’ I’m the best, but my kids are amazed at my skills. Hee-Hee.
~ Enjoying nature.

Well… even if I don’t always make the wisest decisions as a mother(like going to walmart at lunchtime), I sure hope I get some points for trying… because I sure Try, Try, Try. And I’m going to think about things I do well so I won’t get too discouraged about what I can’t get done.

Frustrated??

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This idea has been stuck in my thoughts … almost daily … because it is really true for me. Last week I had a really hard mothering day. I wanted to do just about anything other than the tasks at hand… dealing with little ones and household chores. I wanted to sleep and just do fun “Heather” things. I even recognized that I was frustrated which really just equaled selfishness. This is the original post that helped me realize what goes on in my life:

“‘I’m so frustrated.’ Those words (or similar ones) pop into my head many times an hour and out of my mouth a number of times a day. It’s no wonder — five children, homeschooling, living overseas, and life in a “fish bowl” community. Although I love my life and wouldn’t choose another path, the frustration comes. That constant state of agitation was wearing on me and it definitely wasn’t doing anything to help my kids. And then it dawned on me…”frustrated” is just a nice excusable word for selfishness.” Janet, Preparing the Soil

It’s true. I’ve tried hard to change my thoughts and words about being FRUSTRATED. If I really am truthful with myself, I can explain what is going on in a more positive way… and it will help me realize that really I’m just feeling selfish. Then I can take action to resolve my problem… or at least deal with it better.

That day, last week, when I was having a hard mothering day, I came across this blog Serving His Children in UgandaMy favorite quote from Renee:

“That night I was given the option to choose hope; to be a giver of hope, and I took it! And let me tell you, it’s not been easy. Oh no, it’s been extremely hard. I’ve had to do things that I never wanted to do, and make decisions I had no desire to make. Following God to the hard places is not always easy, that’s why they’re called “hard places” and oh my goodness, have we been to those hard places. But, Christ has been our strength, our refuge, and our constant HOPE along this long and difficult path!”

And this gal who adopted 13 girls, Katie Davis, I’m amazed… she has chosen the hard road to GIVE… her entire life… what a blessing she is to so many in need.I love that she realizes that these women and children she is helping, not only need physical nourishment and care, but they need to feel the Love of God. “If one’s hope is not in Christ, [you] simply believe that life is hard and then you die.” Her judgment of these people turns to sorrow and compassion and love. “People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people.”

How sorry do you think I felt for myself after reading these blogs? Yah – not very sorry.

It’s not that I think I need to go to Africa to fulfill my mission… but I could at least be grateful daily for all I’ve been given… choose to be unselfish and give fully with LOVE. Just keep swimming… just keep swimming… just keep swimming.

Love this encouragement from others who live a hard life with Hope in Christ.

recovered

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I think it took an entire week to recover from last Sunday. I had a bit of a bleh week not wanting to deal with the bleh things in life… like dishes and biting 2-year-olds and such.

But this week, I’m recommitting to Home, love, family. My goal: do all I can to help our family have the Spirit in our home so we can be filled with the Love of God.

Oh – the best news is that today Tru was so good at church. Since I shared last Sunday’s disaster day… Let me share the good about today.

Jimmy decided to let Truman finish his nap and then bring him to church. Perhaps not the best option for a long-term solution, but a needful idea for today. I was honestly so scared at the very thought of taking Tru to church. So it worked out. He woke at 1:00 and they came soon after. They couldn’t find us in the chapel so they sat in the gym.

And you know what… Tru quietly sat on Jimmy’s lap the entire time… no snacks, books, anything. Quiet. And he happily went to nursery. After church when the fam came to find me, Tru held my hand and then he kissed it. Yes – kissed it. Blessed child – at least for a moment.

So – it’s onward and upward this week… at least that’s the goal.

p.s. I’m grateful that my children still adore me even when I look like this:I showered at night and slept on wet hair. AWEsome! And can you see the bruise on my upper arm from last Sunday’s episode. Don’t you love fabulous photos like this when everyone has their eyes closed. Tru was about to break into his cheesy closed-eyes smile. I just plain had my eyes closed. Ha-ha!