perspective check

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This week I’ve been trying not to hyperventilate about an upcoming trip that we planned. You see… we were the only sibling, of 11 living, who wasn’t going to be at the Smith wedding in Maryland. We nearly choked to death on the price of 6 round-trip plane tickets totally $3700. Choke! Good thing we love FAMILY! (well… and good thing Jimmy did an extra side job that provided some funds).

Just the thought of packing makes me sweat. How do I pack 7 people in an orderly fashion … and have it stay orderly once we get there? I honestly have a hard time just throwing stuff in because I fear we’ll forget something. Simplify Heather. That is my goal for packing. Plan … organize … simplify … and then go with the flow once we get there. Is that possible for me to go with the flow? Breathe & smile. I hope.

We have oodles of fun things planned. Washington D.C. one day, 4th of July in Frederick, wedding at D.C. temple, Ocean City, Crabbing, Hiking, Swimming. Pray for zu-zu and tru-tru (oh, and me) to survive the whirlwind of activities. This is not a vacation for mama … it is a trip. An adventure … but not a vaca.

But then … you see … I start feeling a bit silly that a flight across the country becomes a stress for me. What about pioneer mamas? They did have to pack … but they didn’t have suitcases with wheels. They were packing for ‘life’. We are packing for ‘play.’ They walked over 1,000 miles … we fly for 4 hours. They would think me a wimp. But reality is that it will be tricky for us to keep everyone safe, happy, clean, well-fed & well-slept. But this perspective check is good. It might help me simmer down when I get stressed about packing, traveling, adventuring, and unpacking and doing all that laundry.

I absolutely love this quote by a pioneer Susannah Stone Lloyd. Kim Kincaid gave me permission to use this little handcart sketch on my quote card. Doesn’t it tell quite a story on its own.

I discovered the rest of Susannah’s story on LDS.org. I love the gratitude she expresses for her blessings – despite all hardship. What faith & courage!

Amazing people!!!
Ever Onward by Joseph Brickey

Spark of Heavenly Fire

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I’m back.
My keyboard lives (semi).
My foot is healing.
Sunburn is cooling.
Eliza is sleeping.
Tru is playing.
The sun is shining.
School is almost out (another week!).
My mom saved us yesterday.
I’m plugging through my boatload of etsy orders (closing shop next week and am SO glad).
Found darling coral dresses for a wedding (coupon & discount love).
Have Lion House Orange Rolls to eat for breakfast.
I have hope that someday I’ll find my spark and be able to stop feeling like a chicken with my head cut off.

This is my encouragement for the day.

Someday I’m going to find Hand Cart Pioneers at an affordable price. Please. It is the best “Tie on your Bonnet Sister, We’re going to make it to zion” representation of a courageous woman.

alright already – the girl who went cuckoo

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enough already with the quotes heath.
but they’s are a keepin’ me pluggin’ along.
anyone would know my struggles week by week
as evidenced by what topics I’m researching and studying in the gospel.

but i promise no more for today…
after this.
for it’s a keeper.
a gem for mothers.
especially tired mothers.
different times… different ways… different abilities… different tasks.
remember, we do not have to jump to zion.
one. step. at. a. time.

and this one was in the same message …
o be wise … not cuckoo
… wise, my dearie.
i pray for wisdom.
and patience.
and love.
and strength.
and balance.

the end.
with cheer in sight for the weekend.

speaking of positive affirmations

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doesn’t it always seem like the day after you recommit to doing a certain thing better…
that certain thing becomes extra hard.
either Heavenly Father wants to see if we are really committed to improvement…
no matter how hard.
or
Satan, the booger, presses down on us to dissuade us from excelling.
or
maybe a bit of both.

Tasks that used to be small & simple become monumental
when baby sissy needs to be snuggled all day (blast those shots … and teeth breaking through)…
and when tru & max start playing swords with the silverware
they are supposed to be emptying from the dishwasher.
There is not even enough time or energy for the “necessary” & “best”.
This is where I need to learn more about becoming transformed daily by GRACE … relying on the Atonement.

i think i can…
i think i can…
i think i can…

After a long day …
these will help too.

ya ho, ya ho, a mothering we will go…

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bedtime: 10:30 p.m.
body rests…
but
mind still swirling from the crazy day
with thoughts of how to get it all done.
life stuff.
necessary stuff.
but also fun stuff.

a message or two stuck in my mind.
see the pink & green lines… written just for me!
i’m working on this.
it requires selflessness, determination, listening ears & heart, and balance.

This is the goal I want to work on this summer…
having my attitude align with this principle of simplifying
and allowing the most important focus of teaching & loving children to step forward.

i believe my mind can rest now.
I’ve solved all my problems.
Not really… but sorting things out and setting goals helps.

Mother Dear, I love you so

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I enjoyed a lovely mother’s day. I slept in (thanks hon!). I didn’t have early church meetings (thanks Bishop!). Tru was unexpectedly pleasant (yay!). I took a nice nap (thanks hon. sleep does wonders for me). The kids and Jimmy gave me some yummy treats and darling cards. We went to the Provo temple to enjoy some lovely fountains, flowers, and Spirit. I believe this was my best Mother’s Day ever.

I really enjoyed these portions of the essays that Nie Nie Shared.

Motherhood is….
By: Erin Shepard

Motherhood is purpose. No one can fill my shoes as a mother the same way I can.

Motherhood is practice. Some days my patience grows short. Sometimes I don’t have the most gracious answers. Sometimes I forget to brush her teeth, but each new day I get to try again.

Motherhood is a sacrifice. Some days I am not sure I can bear. Some days it’s more energy and time than I have. Other days it’s filled with such joy and magic, time stands still and I have the energy to see the world from a toddler’s perspective.

Motherhood is selflessness. It is kindness in its gentlest form. Motherhood is the most important teaching job I will ever have and the most important CEO position I can hold in the most important company I know…my family.

Being a mother is happiness and priceless. It is my reason to continue to fight a good fight.

Motherhood is…
by: Ani Taylor

I learned a lifetime of lessons on motherhood during those short months of feeling torn between my two daughters. I learned that I can’t always be the kind of mother I want to be, exactly when I want to be. I learned that no one knows my children like I do, and no one needs me like my children do. But the most important thing I learned about motherhood was to simply love my child, and that was something that I could do, no matter what my circumstances were.

I have the unfortunately perspective of losing a child. I wish my life was busy with two, little daughters, but instead, I have a new vision of what it really means to be a mother day in and day out. It is not just about the snotty noses, carpools and the endless demands for snacks. It is about loving my children. It is about giving my whole self to them. It is about forgetting the world, the expectations, and the “To-Do” lists. It’s about getting down on the floor, and really playing. It is about taking a few extra minutes to inhale your sleeping infant. It is about singing lullabies and whispering “I love you’s”. I have learned the difference between mothering, and being a mother.

I am encouraged by every success

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This was a perfectly happy moment. We had just finished dinner. The kids were watching a new Piano Guys movie on the computer. ‘Liza was just hanging out with me at the table. She is a sweet girlie. I love that she was grabbing at her toes. I felt content.And ya know… about 10 seconds later, there was trouble that erupted with the other kids. But for a moment I was encouraged by how content and happy I felt. Life is good… even with ups and downs… this I will remember.

a little sour … turns into calm

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i’m feeling a bit sour this evening.
i’m not going to babble on about the “why”.
poor jimmy has heard it already.
suffice to say i was tired of screaming tots (age 2 & 4).
i doubted my parenting ability. i felt like a lousy mother.
i was mortified that my poor neighbors hear my children when they were outside “playing”.
i was trying … but it all crashed down right before jimmy got home.
i was a groucho.
my family had to endure a groucho mom…. for hours.
after bedtime for said tots…
I decided to chill…
and I came across this fantastic quote I discovered earlier today during study time.
Sour starts fading away into calm.
it may take a really good night’s sleep to turn that frown upside down…
but the perspective shift was good for my soul.
everything about our Savior is calm, and full of joy, and good.

p.s. are those not the most cheerful “sour” candies you’ve ever seen. good… ol’ fashioned lemon drops.

practicing my calm

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Best parenting advice:

A while after I read this, I had the “opportunity” to be a better parent. Truman spilled water all over my pillow and then drip, drip, drip down onto my years of stacked General Conference Issues with notes, my Bible, and my new fun Every Day Magazine. They aren’t completely ruined, but got wet enough to make me say, “aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh”.

Oh Heather.

I then made the choice to practice my calm voice (not the norm ’round here lately, especially with little Tru who tries my patience most of the day).

I told myself, “Heather, Truman is more important that paper.” It’s true. I explained why I was sad that the prophet magazines were wet and asked him to not touch the diffuser again. My calm voice carried a better message than my ‘aaaaaahhhh.” He felt sad with me and said he was sorry. He didn’t scream or hit or spit (his normal reactions to any parental correction). I think my reaction changed his reaction. Sigh… We are both learning. And although my calm voice doesn’t always keep him calm, it certainly would help a majority of the time.

I learned a great lesson from the scriptures a few years ago. Nephi & Lehi were preaching to the Lamanites. They were imprisoned. Fire encircles them … yet burns them not. A cloud of darkness overshadowed the people and then a voice from above, calling the people to repentance:It was not a thunderous sound. There is POWER in calm. The Holy Ghost can touch hearts when there is mildness.

I just need to remember to “practice my calm voice.”

Another fabulous parenting tidbit I read in this article

Love this reminder… instead of a power struggle with kids, help put the responsibility in their lap. Instead of “Did you finish your homework?” try, “What are your plans for finishing your homework?”

Another book I’m reading right now that helps with this paradigm shift (at least for me) of teaching is I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better by Gary & Joy Lundberg. It helps teach me how to walk beside others without hauling their burdens on my shoulders and shove them “MY” way. We can support and love compassionately without having to solve their problems… we can encourage them to know how to find solutions to their situation. Love this for all situations in life… especially with R.S. & parenting.

Sunday Lesson: Making Home a bit of Heaven

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Once upon a time I decided I should teach our R.S. Lesson about Compassion in the Home. It just didn’t come together. Oh – I had lots of fabulous talks to study, but I wasn’t feelin’ it.

Final topic: Home can be a bit of heaven on Earth. (can ya tell this is something I knew we needed to work on? yeppers! especially after the week of spring break)

Saturday night I was still wondering which direction it needed to go. Oh – once again I had 17 pages of fabulous resources. There were several awesome scriptures I wanted to focus on.

In the end, I sat down and explained the dilemma with Jimmy. I’ve had a hard time focusing on one direction. Maybe I’m just a spaz this week and am going quickly in all directions. This is not the Lord’s way.

Jimmy helped guide my thoughts so the Spirit could teach me what to do. It’s one of the “Prepare & Study … and TEACH and listen to the Holy Ghost to see where the lesson needs to go.” Scary? – a bit. Okay? Sure!

Here are the random messages I thought through this week about Home – Balance – Duty – Joy – Love – Gathering – Teaching – Wisdom – Order.

In the end … we had a lot of participation discussing Mosiah 4:27 and how it related to making home a bit of heaven. Keep calm. Rally the Troops. Be YOU! Don’t compare. Identify your skills and focus on the positive. Attitude. Priorities. Select ONE thing (not 15 things!!) that you can do (not your spouse or children – but things YOU can affect) to help your home be a bit more like heaven.

The following quotes I love.  They come from an article in the August 2010 Ensign: All Things in Wisdom and Order by ELDER JOHN C. TAGGART.

Duty
“All things must be done”: Those who accept the blessings of the gospel are bound by covenants to act in certain ways. We have general duties—nurturing our children, serving others, keeping the commandments—and we have specific duties that arise out of our own choices, the Church callings we receive, the promises we make, and the obligations we freely accept. The counsel to not “run faster than [we have] strength” does not excuse us from these things.

Persistence
“Be diligent”: We sometimes mistakenly think the word endure means grim plodding in the face of adversity. Not so. While mortality was not meant to be free of challenges, the Lord has promised both peace and happiness in this life and unimaginable blessings in the life to come for “them that love him”. To persist or persevere means to remain on the path. Those who do so find, to their delight, that the journey brings moments of surprising joy and great blessings, even as the way grows rocky or steep.

Capacity
“A man should [not] run faster than he has strength”: We are all bound to honor our covenants, but all are not asked to carry the same load. Our charge is to magnify what we are given by the Lord, however large or small it may be. We each possess different gifts, abilities, and capacities.

Balance
“Done in wisdom”: Hardest of all is achieving the right mix or balance between competing good things. No secret formula will achieve this for us. We must avoid the “false balance” (Proverbs 20:23) that becomes a mere excuse for avoiding difficult choices. Self-awareness—an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses—is critical. Then righteous living, thoughtful meditation, and heartfelt prayer place us in the path of heavenly inspiration as we make daily decisions. The counsel of those who love us helps us find our way in a world increasingly filled with enticements, distractions, false promises of pleasure, and empty rewards of worldly achievement at the expense of heavenly blessings. The right balance is probably different for each person and also changes for each person over time. Above all, a person grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ and enjoying the sweet companionship of the Holy Ghost will find balance, even—or especially—in the face of overwhelming, unavoidable burdens.

Priority or Seasonality
“All things … in order”: The writer of Ecclesiastes taught, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).